is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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