Tell her she can't have a vagina
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize