First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
