her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
