God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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