I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
