I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
