I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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