if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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