We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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