So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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