I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize