Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
