Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
