My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
