dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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