but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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