Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
