just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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