I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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