Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
