i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
