dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
