i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
PANTIES FOUND
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
