This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
