You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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