Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
