he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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