dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..