I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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