So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.