She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.