I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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