She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear