Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
