It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
