I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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