That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
