y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
