I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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