nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
