woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
