I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
