She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
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I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
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How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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