Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
