Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
