Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
