The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
