Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize