i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
