Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
