my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
there is puke in my bra ... again
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
