I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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