He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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