But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
