I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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