A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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