I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize