Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I need moral support for this bender
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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