Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't deserve a penis
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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