im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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