drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
