i think my mom watched the whole time
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
