At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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