Well douche your snatch and let's go!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
