I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she pinky promised me she was 18
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
